Connect 4 a Purpose

On Wednesday we did an experiment where we partnered up and asks each other questions given to us in three different sets. The point of the experiment was to illustrate how the Social Penetration Theory works. I was partnered with Adrian Romero. He is on the basketball team with me and I previously met him on my recruiting visit. From the beginning I felt the experiment wouldn't work the same for us because we had already known each other for a while. The first set of questions continued to make me feel that way. The first set of questions scratched the surface and were also things I already knew. It wasn't until the second set began to get more personal and I realized I didn't know as much as I thought I did. I feel really comfortable with Adrian and I think it attributes to his character and I feel like the reason we never discussed these topics before was simply because we never had the space to. At basketball practice we push ourselves to become better players. There's never really time to engage personal experiences. Other times when we hang out, we are usually cracking jokes and having a good time. Given the time and space I would easily open up to him, and the third set of questions made that very clear to me. The third set of questions were extremely personal. It talked about death and things that showed your character and what you valued. This was my favorite experience in this class all semester. It felt like it was real time evidence of the things we were studying. Now I feel closer to Adrian and I also think it is important to have space to get closer to express personal experiences and feelings. 

This will be my final blog post. I feel like I have received everything I can from blogging and I have learned a lot during this process. I also appreciate connecting face to face more rather than online. This blog has helped me realize that. I want to thank everyone who has ever read or commented on my blog. All of your time and feedback was appreciated. A special shoutout to my interest group for the great discussions and the inspiration to write these blogs. Finally the biggest shoutout to my professor Daena Goldsmith for giving me this platform and opening my eyes to a deeper understanding of relationships and connections. Stay fresh y'all!

Thanksgiving where you at?

Getting to know you

In class on Monday we began to discuss the nuts and bolts of relationships and also the theories that encompass them. By default it made me reflect on my own relationships. The first thing we established was relationship development and understanding this coincided with the theories we would later learn. Relationship development is how our relationships change over time in a cognitive, emotional, and behavioral sense. As expected communication plays a big part in relationships. It is well recognized that communication is vital in any and all relationships. I feel a lack of communication leads to the end of relationships. One thing I noticed about the different theories is the way communication functions is similar in all three.
The Social Penetration Theory defines relationship development as a smooth and steady progression from knowing a little to a lot also being motivated by rewards. Learning about this theory made me relate it to my romantic relationships the most. At first we go from barely knowing the person to possibly being in a relationship and the reward being able to give and receive love from that person. Uncertainty Reduction Theory says we don't like uncertainty in our relationships. The more uncertainty there is the more the relationship becomes distant. Less uncertainty reduces that distant and makes the relationship stronger. When I thought about how this applied in my life I thought about an experience I had for buying a ticket to a concert. It was from a person I did not know and I paid using Venmo. There was a lot of uncertainties in the exchange and both parties were worried about if the transaction would be successful. Luckily everything went smoothly but the uncertainties easily drove us both insane. The last theory we looked at was the Dialectic Theory. This theory says that people have competing desires for autonomy and connection whether it be open or closed. I related this theory to the many basketball teams I have been on. Whenever I am on a team I strived to become really close to my teammates so we can perform better on the court. I feel the more open our relationship is the stronger it is.
The quick glance at these theories have made it easier for me to reflect on my relationships and even see how I can improve them. Is there ever such a thing as too much communication in a relationship?

#No Filter

Today in class we discussed what is dishonest and inauthentic online. We also read some Facebook stories that related to the topic. The first example of being inauthentic or dishonest was strictly posting photos in which felt you looked good. It never occurred to me that posting those types of photos could be perceived in that way. Personally I try to do the same, but my intention is never to be inauthentic or dishonest. I like to think about it as presenting yourself as best as you can. For example, it is considered unprofessional to show up to most job interviews in sweats and a hoodie. Online we try to do the same through the use of lighting, filters, and even poses.
A big component that we explored in our group was the intention of the user. It becomes complicated when we think about why users post what they do. As fellow users we know that people have the ability to create false personas. The idea of fraudulence is probably what led to the rise of what is dishonest and inauthentic. I think the spectrum of what is accepted as inauthentic and dishonest is becoming more generally accepted. Technology widening its horizons and that means it needs to be monitored more. However, that does not mean we must be authentic on all platforms. There are some platforms that leave the notion of self up or interpretation to the user. Those platforms typically tend to be role playing games. In my opinion the inauthenticity comes into play on more social platforms rather than gaming platforms. It is not as crucial to lie about your age on Minecraft compared to Facebook.
In conclusion I think we all have a part of us that puts the best version of ourselves on our social media. The intent is not to be inauthentic but to follow an unsaid code of social media. The use of filters and editing photos should be accepted more rather than scolded. Cheers to the wonderful world of filters!