Connect 4 a Purpose

On Wednesday we did an experiment where we partnered up and asks each other questions given to us in three different sets. The point of the experiment was to illustrate how the Social Penetration Theory works. I was partnered with Adrian Romero. He is on the basketball team with me and I previously met him on my recruiting visit. From the beginning I felt the experiment wouldn't work the same for us because we had already known each other for a while. The first set of questions continued to make me feel that way. The first set of questions scratched the surface and were also things I already knew. It wasn't until the second set began to get more personal and I realized I didn't know as much as I thought I did. I feel really comfortable with Adrian and I think it attributes to his character and I feel like the reason we never discussed these topics before was simply because we never had the space to. At basketball practice we push ourselves to become better players. There's never really time to engage personal experiences. Other times when we hang out, we are usually cracking jokes and having a good time. Given the time and space I would easily open up to him, and the third set of questions made that very clear to me. The third set of questions were extremely personal. It talked about death and things that showed your character and what you valued. This was my favorite experience in this class all semester. It felt like it was real time evidence of the things we were studying. Now I feel closer to Adrian and I also think it is important to have space to get closer to express personal experiences and feelings. 

This will be my final blog post. I feel like I have received everything I can from blogging and I have learned a lot during this process. I also appreciate connecting face to face more rather than online. This blog has helped me realize that. I want to thank everyone who has ever read or commented on my blog. All of your time and feedback was appreciated. A special shoutout to my interest group for the great discussions and the inspiration to write these blogs. Finally the biggest shoutout to my professor Daena Goldsmith for giving me this platform and opening my eyes to a deeper understanding of relationships and connections. Stay fresh y'all!

Thanksgiving where you at?

Getting to know you

In class on Monday we began to discuss the nuts and bolts of relationships and also the theories that encompass them. By default it made me reflect on my own relationships. The first thing we established was relationship development and understanding this coincided with the theories we would later learn. Relationship development is how our relationships change over time in a cognitive, emotional, and behavioral sense. As expected communication plays a big part in relationships. It is well recognized that communication is vital in any and all relationships. I feel a lack of communication leads to the end of relationships. One thing I noticed about the different theories is the way communication functions is similar in all three.
The Social Penetration Theory defines relationship development as a smooth and steady progression from knowing a little to a lot also being motivated by rewards. Learning about this theory made me relate it to my romantic relationships the most. At first we go from barely knowing the person to possibly being in a relationship and the reward being able to give and receive love from that person. Uncertainty Reduction Theory says we don't like uncertainty in our relationships. The more uncertainty there is the more the relationship becomes distant. Less uncertainty reduces that distant and makes the relationship stronger. When I thought about how this applied in my life I thought about an experience I had for buying a ticket to a concert. It was from a person I did not know and I paid using Venmo. There was a lot of uncertainties in the exchange and both parties were worried about if the transaction would be successful. Luckily everything went smoothly but the uncertainties easily drove us both insane. The last theory we looked at was the Dialectic Theory. This theory says that people have competing desires for autonomy and connection whether it be open or closed. I related this theory to the many basketball teams I have been on. Whenever I am on a team I strived to become really close to my teammates so we can perform better on the court. I feel the more open our relationship is the stronger it is.
The quick glance at these theories have made it easier for me to reflect on my relationships and even see how I can improve them. Is there ever such a thing as too much communication in a relationship?

#No Filter

Today in class we discussed what is dishonest and inauthentic online. We also read some Facebook stories that related to the topic. The first example of being inauthentic or dishonest was strictly posting photos in which felt you looked good. It never occurred to me that posting those types of photos could be perceived in that way. Personally I try to do the same, but my intention is never to be inauthentic or dishonest. I like to think about it as presenting yourself as best as you can. For example, it is considered unprofessional to show up to most job interviews in sweats and a hoodie. Online we try to do the same through the use of lighting, filters, and even poses.
A big component that we explored in our group was the intention of the user. It becomes complicated when we think about why users post what they do. As fellow users we know that people have the ability to create false personas. The idea of fraudulence is probably what led to the rise of what is dishonest and inauthentic. I think the spectrum of what is accepted as inauthentic and dishonest is becoming more generally accepted. Technology widening its horizons and that means it needs to be monitored more. However, that does not mean we must be authentic on all platforms. There are some platforms that leave the notion of self up or interpretation to the user. Those platforms typically tend to be role playing games. In my opinion the inauthenticity comes into play on more social platforms rather than gaming platforms. It is not as crucial to lie about your age on Minecraft compared to Facebook.
In conclusion I think we all have a part of us that puts the best version of ourselves on our social media. The intent is not to be inauthentic but to follow an unsaid code of social media. The use of filters and editing photos should be accepted more rather than scolded. Cheers to the wonderful world of filters!

First Let Me Take a Selfie

We were assigned to watch this video and in it a young lady describes the different types of selfies people take. At first it seemed ridiculous but as she continued explaining it started to resonate with me. Personally I don't take many selfies but when I do I follow all of the guidelines that she explained in the video. It's almost natural to look for the best lightning but I truly started to question why I try to take a selfie with the camera high above. I realized that the reason I do it is because of follow the trend and culture around selfies. When I snapchat my friends I purposely try to make the ugliest face possible or I put on a silly filter for entertainment. The way we communicate through mediums such as Snapchat and Instagram have been dominated by the selfie phenomenon. 

The video truly made me self reflect on what a selfie could represent. Most selfies are suppose to show off your beauty. Uglies are meant to show those flaws. Groupies are meant to show how close knit you are with friends or family. While I participate in this culture I never view it as separate aspects meant to signify different parts of me. I simply see it as taking a picture that will go on social media.

The simple fact that the word "selfie" is in the dictionary shows how this concept is being domesticated. Our culture continues to change because technology is constantly being integrated. Before you comment on this blog, take a second and take a selfie. 

It's All About Who You Know

Today in class we assembled into our interest groups and discussed the different people we follow on Twitter. The purpose of this was to add people to our lists that would eventually go on Storify. The first thing I realized is that I only followed people in the class. Although following them made me feel apart of a community I needed to increase the number of people I follow to reap the full benefits of Twitter. I stopped my self from following many people at random. My goal was to learn from the people I follow and take away something meaningful. In this case quality is better than quantity. The first person I decided to follow was Michelle Obama. I followed her because she is an iconic figure in our country and she is constantly providing new content that is not always related to politics. Some posts involve health and community service. Another thing she focuses on is how we can help the children and also improve their health and their overall lifestyle. The next group of people I decided to follow were authors of articles we have read and discussed in class. Most of them are heavily engaged in the online community. Hopefully they will reply if I talk to them. The next group of people I followed reflected my own personal interest. It gave me a way to personalize my Twitter and it made it feel like less of an assignment. I know that I can learn from all of the people I follow and that gives me a sense of pride knowing I am using twitter in a meaningful way. Now I pray that some of them follow me back!

Tweet Till Your Thumbs Fall Off

As we continue to analyze communities in our class I notice myself becoming more engaged in the Twitter community. I started to be more aware of who I follow and I also follow profiles that contain lots of content. As someone who did not fully reap the benefits of Twitter it was easy to see what I was missing out on when we started to analyze it in class. After reading the article by Gruzd I agreed with the fact that Twitter has the potential to be a community. It became more personal when I compared my old Twitter habits to my new ones. In the past I would only favorite and retweet things funny videos or tweets I could relate to. Now I catch myself presenting new ideas and responding to tweets.  When you devote time into seeing these online forums as communities it will become clear why they can be effective and why they feel genuine for many users. Now when I tweet, favorite, retweet or reply I feel as if i am doing it with a purpose.

We all need somebody to lean on

Today in class we discussed the different facets of support we receive through face-to-face (FTF) interaction and also EMC. All types of support were put into categories: emotional, esteem, information, tangible, and network. We were then instructed to think of people who provide us with different types of support and whether it was FTF or EMC. By default the first people I thought of were my friends and family back home. The most common type of support between them was emotional and esteem, which is to be expected. When we feel homesick or alone we find comfort in our friends and family back home. Most of the time we are comforted through reassuring phone calls and motivating text messages. The exercise made me realize that most of the support I received originated from FTF connections but has transitioned to being through EMC. There is a stigma to EMC connections is that they are not real or as real as FTF connections. When I receive support from my friends and family back home it still feels real. It keeps me going knowing they are still there whenever I need them. And it entertains me seeing my mom hold the camera really close to her face whenever we FaceTime.

While also analyzing the different aspects of support I struggled assigning one type to one individual. It's impossible to say I am friends with someone for one reason and one reason only. My friends are people I can laugh, cry, and steal food from. They support me in every way possible. Learning about social support made me appreciate and miss my family and friends a little bit more. I never really thought about the different ways I receive support until now. This class is really making me think about all types of relationships and connections. It's dope though.